Thumper's Thoughts for June

• I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.

• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

• I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

• I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

• "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

• I will not eat any more mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage, to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.

• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

• The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with her and she makes that noise it is usually not a good thing.

• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

• I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed and then bark until mom or dad retrieves them.

• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

• Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.

• The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply, and just because the water is blue doesn’t mean it is cleaner.

• I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

Happy summer everyone. See you next month!

Woof,

Thumper